Today, I’m aggravated. I feel an anger that may be misplaced. I am not sure why I feel this way today, maybe it’s because you’re still gone, maybe it’s what I saw the other day. I will never know, and I don’t care to ask.
Now you’re here
Now you’re here. You beautiful miracle. You weren’t exactly planned but you were wanted. Now you’re growing inside me while your daddy is away. You’ll learn my voice and your big sisters until daddy is back and can play.
I’m still here
Life isn’t always easy but I’m still here. I’m gonna be writing and posting a story here within the next few days about what actually kept me here. Look out for it!
I’m still here
Life isn’t always easy but I’m still here. I’m gonna be writing and posting a story here within the next few days about what actually kept me here. Look out for it!
Let’s not
Let’s not go there. Why would we ever do this again? There is no point. No reason to put ourselves through this pain again. Yet here I am. Sad. Alone. And there you are. Happy. Sad. Alone. We both feel so different now. I guess it will stay that way.
I feel sick
I feel sick when I think of you. Not because you disgust me, but because I love you so much. I love you. There I said it. I love ever inch of you despite the things that have happened and the things you have done. I love you. Your dark hair and brown eyes. I love you. Your smile, your laugh, your touch. I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss you. I miss your smile in the morning. I miss the things you’d say and the things you’d do..I’d jump. I’d jump through hoops to see you. I’d jump. I’d jump at the chance to start over. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I screwed up. I’m sorry I wasn’t perfect. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I deployed. I’m sorry I got married. I’m not sorry I had my daughter, but I’m sorry she’s not yours.
I’m waiting. I’m patient. I’m scared.
I feel sick. Not because you disgust me. I feel sick because you’re not mine. I feel sick because I love you and you no longer love me.
#Ifeelsick #loveyou
When will it stop
Things are beginning to fall apart again. Not with our marriage, but with our life. Something is always wrong. Things go well for a few days then crash and burn. Today, things burned.
High School
5 years have passed since my last day of high school. I got married, divorced, and deployed. I got married again and had a little girl. I should be happy to have experienced everything, yet I really just feel overly exposed.
Here we go again…
So here we are. Possibly moving again. We have moved so many times since we have gotten married. I am starting to think that this is what we have to so this time. Maybe it will work best this way. Being on the road. We move so often anything that maybe doing this could help us. We can travel as much as we want. I think it is a great idea but I also feel like it could be the end of something good. How do I decide what I want to do with the feeling of never knowing?
The Journey Begins
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
Here we go again... 